my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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