Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
