Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
