if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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