I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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