It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
