No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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