The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
