I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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