Non-Jews are for practice
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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