I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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