I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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