I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
