Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
