Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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