yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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