to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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