i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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