Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
