So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Farmville is her only friend.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
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