You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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