Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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