you traded sex for a burrito?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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