If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
