He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
