is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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