Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
