Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
