Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
