In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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