it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
