do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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