so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
