peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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