the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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