there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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