is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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