Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
