He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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