We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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