he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
