clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
