David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
