I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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