i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
