But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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