So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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