Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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