Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
