i think my mom watched the whole time
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
